So what's the basic story?

Horror Park is opening in upstate New York, appropriately on Halloween. It's a theme park based on the horror genre with homages to everything from Universal classics to 80's slasher flicks. As a promotion, the park invites a select few to a pre-opening gala on October 30th. In William Castle style, the park gates close at 10 p.m. and guests are not allowed to leave, NO MATTER WHAT!

Was that dramatic ALL CAPS necessary?

Only if you know who William Castle was. Anyway, our hero, Cassie, wins 4 free passes to the big event. Oliver Wegner, the park owner, is also the third largest defense contractor to the U.S. Defense Department, supplying primarily chemical and biological weapons/research. Can you see where this is headed?

Frankly, yes. Chemical spills, industrial accident, gas leak?

Close enough! Wegner is secretly developing a chemical compound designed to create an obedient, fearless, unstoppable soldier. In essence, a zombie. He also decides these would be great characteristics for a theme park work force. Unbeknownst to all but a few, he tests the compound on his employees. It pretty soon becomes beknownst to everyone as his experiment has unintended side effects. Like the craving for living flesh.

Excuse me...did you say "beknownst?" I don't think that's a word.

But it flows so well. Anyway, the park is filled with slowly transforming zombies. Carnage, heroism and tragedy ensue.

It sounds okay, I guess. But what makes is so special that's its winning awards across the country?

I'm embarrassed by the praise, but thank you for mentioning it. The set up is true to the genre - why make a zombie flick if you don't like the normal vibe of zombie flicks? But it's the characters that grab readers. Really, this is a film about characters who happen to be caught up in a zombie massacre, not a story about zombies who happen to eat movie characters. You can get a sense of who each character is by reading their interviews from the home page. But our heroes are well-rounded with distinct voices, the villains are interesting and charismatic. There's an old man who curses a lot, that's always fun. And the zombies die in inventive, interesting and disgusting ways. Plus, someone mistakes entrails for funnel cake.

Anything else that makes it special?

It's funny. Reviewers say it swings smartly between laughs and scares, or they might say that if they review it. My mom, for instance, said "Gosh, that was scary and funny." I think that says it all.

Who are you ripping off?

Shaun of the Dead in spirit and just a little in plot devices. Joss Weadon in character fun. And George Romero, especially in regards to having zombies that eat people.
*Special disclaimer - All this was written and posted before "Zombieland" so I wasn't ripping them off. Having seen and loved the movie, I can only say they share some very minor similarities, mostly in the title, and I'd LOVE to have written that script as well. But I didn't.

George Romero famously uses zombies as social metaphor. Do you?

Sure. The script has a rule. If you are a zombie - essentially, someone who doesn't really think for themselves, isn't true to themselves, be very careful. You may be eaten. There's a pretty strong political tone, too. I don't trust The Man so there's a cynical streak. If you google all the villains, you'll see what I mean. Ok, if you're lazy try reading about Oliver Wegner, Albert Klingman (actually, it's Kligman but that's harder to say), Sydney Gottlieb and read about Fort Detrick.

That's a little preachy. Tell us about the character arcs in the story. What's redemptive? What's learned?

Well, at the beginning, Cassie and her friends are not being eaten by flesh-starved zombies. At a pivotal moment, they discover that they want to continue to not be eaten by flesh-starved zombies and this becomes intrinsic to their motivation. The essential conflict, then, comes when zombies determine their inherent need eat people, culminating in a desire to eat Cassie. It's a zombie movie, ya ninny, it's not that deep.

Sarcasm is the refuge of little minds.

Okay, okay. Any good story needs a little more than zombies chasing victims. To survive, and save her friends, Cassie has to engage in the messy business of being human, something her intellectual reserve fights. And she has to make a very hard choice at the end. Gramps has to resolve a lifetime without love or family. Jude really, really wants to get laid and just might. Tori learns to sacrifice shoes for survival. Dr. Gottlieb learns that if you makes zombies, they will try to eat you. Frankly, for a horror movie, this is loaded with arcs and layers and stuff.

Well, what if I like horror? I don't want to see Beaches with a few undead for window dressing.

There's plenty of good, old-fashioned mayhem. Tension ratchets, many zombies chase many people, beloved characters die. There are chainsaws, hedge clippers, a weed whacker, Swegways. And a zombie is sent through a woodchipper.

A woodchipper?

That's right, a woodchipper. So if you like gore, we've got it. If you like suspense, we've got it. If you like romance, we've got it. If you like grumpy old men, we've got that. And, if you fund the movie, and you like rainbows or ponies or yodeling, we can find a way to work it in.

Is there anything that's missing.

Nudity. But I'm willing to write the next one naked if it will help.